The Dinner Table

I remember an article that said no matter what your arrangement of family members was (a single parent with two kids, two parents with six kids, etc.) that the most important thing to do each day was to have dinner together. The families that did that simple act lead more successful and connected lives.

Half the time my dinner table looks like it does above. Or cleared, yet the kids and I will sit at it for only as long as it takes to scarf down our food and get back to homework, reading, or a tv show. We enjoy eating together, but our days are long and continuously full of other people until we arrive home. So we retire to our respective corners of the house to recharge, unless we choose to passively sit close while we do independent things.

We usually leave the house around 6:30AM. We often arrive home in a staggered fashion; the first person around 3PM and the last as late as 4:30-5:00PM. Dinner is usually between 6:00-7:00PM, even though we all haven't eaten since roughly 11AM, except for a snack when we get home.

When I was a kid, in both houses, the meal routine was the same. We might "fend for ourselves" for breakfast and lunch, but dinners were always together. Didn't matter the season, day of the week or who was visiting. Eating together was the guaranteed one time during the day that we all checked in with each other.

Some nights I feel guilty. That I've spent more time and energy with my students than with my own children on any given week day. I know we're all doing our best, but I wish that we could all have more time without long "to do" lists hovering over our shoulders while we cooked and ate. That we didn't measure our time together by the minutes lost on a tv show, live multi-player game, homework, chores or walking the dog.

Tonight was a magical night. Frank arrived home on the bus. I picked up Lenora from her club, we bought groceries and we were home by 4:15. We each had a snack and a  rest. I started making dinner at 5:50 and turned on the classical radio station. While the water boiled and the sauce melded, I did a load of dishes.

We sat together at the table above (imagine the work pushed to the right, the flowers in full bloom in the center and three plates full of pasta w/veggies in marinara sauce). We discussed our collective school days. We were all very honest about how mid-term season is taking it's toll.

And that was when it happened. Frank said he need help on a subject, Lenora and I offered to help. We cleared our plates and all sat at the table working together on our respective homework for the next two hours. At one point Frank, well on solid footing with the subject, moved a few feet away to the couch, but we continued to actively contribute or comment on each other's work while we listened to the soft classical music and sat under the glow of holiday lights we all enjoy still being up.

Yes, tonight was one of those moments that will carry me through bouts of guilt when trying to balance the scales of my energies... and I hope it will be just one in a continuum of many that will carry my children successfully into the future.