Being of Use

My students often ask me this question:

"Ms. Nazor, what are you doing teaching at Leominster High School?"

My answer is always the same:

"It's where I feel of use."

You see to their minds, I've lived in far off and exotic places like St. Croix on a sailboat and in San Fransisco in an Edwardian. I've travelled to 28 countries and driven across most of this country by myself. I've met and know some of the people whose books we read in class: James McBride (Maui Writer's Conference), Mitch Albom (MWC), Maxine Hong Kingston (can't remember if it was the Jack London Writer's conference or at Book Passage's Travel Writer's conference) and some others. They want to know what am I doing walking around a cinderblock classroom, that even after renovations can become heat-stroke hot in June, when I could be working in publishing (see last nights blog entry for the answer)?

Over the course of the academic year, I sow the seeds of suggestion that should lead them to a growing understanding for how I came to be a teacher.

Each fall starts with this poem:

The Summer Day
 by Mary Oliver


Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

The poem is simultaneously combined with "the List", John Goddard's list of what he wanted to do with his, "one wild and precious life" that he wrote when he was 15 years old (click on the below link to check it out).

http://englishresearchinstitute.org/wordpress/?p=101

They then have to interview each other as to where they expect to be in 10 years. It's a great exercise for me getting to know them, them getting to know each other and when the interviews get written up as essays or articles, a great way for me to learn how they think, write and about their passions.

Basically I try to prime the pump for the students to start thinking about what they want to do vs what they think they have to do. They are so caught up with their academic careers having to morph into profitable careers, that they don't think they have the luxury of time to reflect on who they are and how they want to be. Plus we all know their brains are still growing and who they are in September is not who they are in June.

Over the course of the year essential questions like "what does it mean to be human" and "how does our society effect our choices" start to take root. More reflection is demanded as they tie these questions to the literature of the classroom, the drama of the halls and the current events we all share.

Midway in the year, after they trust me and each other enough to be vocal and vulnerable, I spend a class doing the Harvard Morality test questions with them. They don't know that is what it is, at first, but they find it fascinating, and we all learn a great deal about one another.

You see, people like to think they know what they would do, how they would react, and what their moral compass is on most subjects. However, when those moments actually present themselves we are often surprised by how our internal voice responds differently from how we reasoned it would.

Take for example the subject of abortion. Now when I met my wasband, I was pro-choice and he ideologically wasn't. When I was pregnant with our first child at the age of 35 it required that I have "genetics test". Now this is where it gets interesting. The wasband realized that if the results came back with abnormalities that his feelings were that we might want to terminate or abort the child. My realization, after having my body completely transform and feeling the flutter of the child in me found it impossible to consider an abortion. So, one never knows, until you know.

My students, and I think young people in general, want to do the right thing. They want to help each other, their families, the planet and all it's living entities. Yet we live in a society where things are measured with terminology like, "is it worth it", "can I cash in on it", "what value will it have",  "can I afford it" or worse, "does it have any added value".

I swear the first half of American adulthood is spent acquiring stuff (material possession, professional degrees and enough money to maintain it all), and the second half of American adulthood is spent trying to decant all the stuff (downsize, retire, hold onto enough money to be safe).

My youth was spent with many people who were much older than me. I think I benefitted greatly for it. They told me to be adventurous when I was young, because as you grow older it becomes hard to take those physical risks (travel, adrenaline sports, moving often) and I listened. But I also found that the older friends who were truly happy were the ones involved with helping others. They'd developed their skill sets to the Master level in their fields and found the most rewarding work being that of giving back or bring up others in the same field.

All my jobs have been apprenticeships (boatbuilding, cabinetmaking, journalism, publishing/agenting and now teaching). I've been lucky to have great mentors at every turn. Now, in a much more litigious   America, it's harder to be taken under the wing of a mentor or Master. I trained and received accreditation to be a Mentor teacher.

So when I had to think about what job would use the same skill sets as an agent and was in an arena I thought I could be of use, well teaching seemed a natural. Instead of presenting 1 book to 20-30 editors, I not teach one book (at a time) to 20-30 students (in a section x 5).

I feel of use. I feel the same way with my own children, most of the time.

Tomorrow is Martin Luther King day. Make it a day of service, being of use in some way.
Make it a day of being on, not treating it like a day off. Make is worthy of his name and full of love.