Fearless Alpha Female

http://thoughtcatalog.com/brenda-della-casa/2015/02/15-things-all-badass-fearless-alpha-women-do-differently-from-other-types-of-women/

I've been seeing this list posted in numerous places lately and find it resonates with me. I've been told that I'm brave, daring, fearless and things of that nature most of my life. I viewed myself as shy, slow changing and organic. Now I'm finally coming to realize that perhaps I am an Alpha or at least as it pertains to this list of "Badass" qualities.

1. They cultivate a life they actually enjoy living
This is something I've always aspired to do. I've not wanted to live a life of regrets nor be living a lie. To be of use and surrounded by positive forces and people I love is what brings me joy. I have to keep evolving as I grow and change; like a hermit crab who has to move to a new shell when it outgrows the last one.

2. They make their move.
I've been known to be bold when it comes to men, decisions and choices. If I want something, I go for it. I'm willing to put in the time and effort to achieve my goals; romantic, adventure, academic and otherwise.

3. They don’t put themselves down.
The only time I've done that was as a teenager and in my marriage. In both cases I let go of the reins to my own life. Both times I grabbed them up again and chose a new path.

4. They don’t need a boyfriend but they’re open to having a partner.
As you know from reading my blog; I'm content, but I'd like to find some one in my same stage of life, state of being and parallel schedule to be with over time. 

5. They don’t waste time wishing.
I do try to learn from my mistakes and move forward. The power of suggesting a positive scenario and working towards that in earnest is different from waving a magic wand. Learning from life's lessons, making corrections and moving forward is how we evolve while we're living.

6. They call people out.
As I've become older, I've become more subtle with this skill and hopefully more just in my abilities. As a girl, I'd defend boys on the play grounds or my sister at the bus stop as a tween my families' honor in the school halls, later politics and finally the life of ideas (publishing & teaching).

7. They know when to walk away.
I asked for the divorce, I left the boat, I've ended toxic friendships and so on. Being a human pretzel isn't being human. Nor it a way of being that I want to model for my children or student or readers. 

8. They expect FaceTime.
This is why I'm no good at online dating. I've learned you have to strike hard and fast and meet face to face as soon as possible. If I'm compatible in writing and continue to text or talk on the phone it does me no good. I have to meet the guy and find out. I want to share the same air and be together in order to learn about them. Thus my historical  one and done or jumping in with both feet. Now it's harder to swim in the right pools, that aren't made of digits.

9. They give themselves a real chance to meet someone.
This is why, once the weather gets nicer, I'm going to return to my swimming holes, expand my human animal pastures in the non-digital world. Once New England comes out of this extreme winter and we leave our hibernation states...back to flirting and finding the watering hole where folks in their 50's go to Dance!

10. They don’t pretend they’re on an episode of “The Bachelor.”
Grossest of reality shoes. Fairytales on meth. Can't stomach it for a second. 

11. They also don’t pretend they’re a Kardashian.
Not entitled. Not wanting to be rich and famous. Yuck.

12. They see themselves as an investment.
Yes. Always have and always will. My friends and family are my treasures, too. 

13. They don’t play the victim.
Nope. Maybe blind at times, but not a victim. I try to be victorious even with my failures!

14. They dare to go for it.
It's now or never. Again, I make choices based on would I regret not doing this? I'm not at all attracted to bunging jumping or sky diving, but seeing the world and all the ways to live on it. Yup.  Learning new skills. Yup. Risking being in love. Yup. We only have now. Only one body is our permanent home, until it ceases to be. Then back to the the energy cloud we go. 

15. They would never put their lives on hold to accommodate someone else’s idea of who they should be.
As a girl this was torture for me. My parent's voices in my head vs my inner voice. Those who know me, know that I've lead an "unconventional" life at different junctures. I know realize that it was my parent's unconditional love that afforded me to listen to my inner voice over time. I only lost it, and my confidence, during my marriage. But it's back and stronger than ever now. Hopefully it will find something to say to others that will be of use. And right now how I live will be a model to my kids and perhaps students.

Read the original list of antidotes in the URL at the top (from which the picture comes from, too).

Good night, Fearless Alpha's Everywhere, G'night!