Tonight I watched The Age of Adeline a film about a woman who in a reversal of Shelley's Frankenstein, is not brought to life, but rather put into arrested physical development by a stroke of water and electricity; being stuck at a perpetual 29yrs old for six decades. The premise being that most people entertain the idea of being young forever or living forever, but the protagonist says early on that "never growing old with someone you love creates heartache." In the end, she gets her wish, I won't explain how, but it's an endearing modern fairytale, to live a life with one person and all that entails, a very old fashioned romantic ideal. Most narratives now are spent considering what it would be like to live many life times and preferably forever.
At the end, I noticed an odd coincidence, it was co-written by Salvador Paskowitz. http://creativescreenwriting.com/i-dont-think-anyone-works-harder-than-writers-salvador-paskowitz/ You see, Sal was once my brother-in-law. His sister was married to my brother. We have a common nephew. He is a part of a surfing dynasty that was the subject of a film called Surfwise. Now the coincidence is this: I've been wanting to watch this film since I first saw the trailer. I'm a sucker for time-travel-romances. I'm still waiting for my cosmic soulmate to bump into me at some fateful bend in time. And I've been thinking a great deal about a surfing and running friend of mine, Nanette, for a week now....
Last time I saw Sal was in Honolulu on Waikiki Beach...The Home of The Duke; the father of international surfing, whose birthday was honored yesterday with a Google Doodle. And I hadn't been back there until two months ago when I took this picture.
For a week now, I've been thinking about two things : That one of my dearest friends, a chosen sister, (Nanette) was losing her Dad to Cancer and that it took a quarter century for me to beat Bob Jolicoeur in a road race. They are one and the same man.
When I first met Nan's father, Bob, he was living in luxurious modern Maine house in the tony neighborhood of Two Lights in Cape Elizabeth. I was 20 years old and just starting college work at USM. Bob was a big-wig in Portland Banking. He and his wife Pris were exceedingly warm and nice to me the first time I met them at their home. Nan and I would later become roommates in a third floor flat in Portland on Frederick Street with the highway, train tracks and a Denny's as our neighbors.
Bob was a runner. He started running at 35 and had been running a decade when I met him. Nan and I would try to keep up with him throughout our college years to no avail. During those years, the Bank folded out from under him. Instead of being proud and entitled as a middle-aged former banking executive he did something that really impressed me: he took a job in a laundry mat, while he developed new business opportunities.
Nan moved to Higgins Beach during college, with her then boyfriend, now husband, Craig. There would be many a surfing, running, biking and clambake birthday party on the beach or in their old farmhouse before it burned down. Bob and Pris were often in attendance.
When Craig, turned 50 we all attended a party at the Boy Scout Camp just down the road from the beach. Bob and Pris were there, dancing, singing and laughing. They were enjoying the grandkids, multi-generational friends and celebrating with their son-in-law.
Over time, Bob and Pris would run two businesses: she a interior design company and he would do peoples taxes. They'd also become "snow birds", following the sun and sea; Florida in the cold months and Maine in the warm ones. Running year round in short weather!
Nan and I would enter races with Bob. Nan, of course, entered numerous races with him over the decades. He'd run 56 marathons in his career. Nan has run at least one and I've run none. Never been tempted; don't know why. I can run Half's very comfortably and that is where I'd like to keep it. But Bob was driven. Racing himself and helping others to enter the world of running. I know I've run several Beach to Beacon's (10K Joan Benoit's race) and at least one Half Marathon in the last decade with him.
Which is when I finally, after 25 years of trying, beat his time in a race. And yes, he was 25 years my senior!!! He inspired me to push myself for my own PR, but also to catch a taste of what it felt like to run at his pace. He was modest and generous with other runners, which endeared him to us all. He was often the person you'd see the days leading up to races that was volunteering at the tables with bibs and t-shirts and such.
He was always near the water; in Maine and Florida. Two Lights when I first met him, Higgin's Beach briefly during the years Nan and I were having our children, and going south in the Winter. And for most of the last decade they lived at Old Orchard Beach. Bob had retired, but was still driven to produce so he started a new business at age 74...
At Nan's 50th Birthday, Bob and Pris and Nan's in-laws surprised her with a party. A bunch of us had taken her skating at an outdoor rink in Falmouth, as she "didn't want to fuss and doing anything". But we insisted that we all go back to Carol's (her mother-in-laws) for a warm-up, as she lived in Falmouth, too. Bob and Pris had bought lots of Mardi Gras party favors (as Nan's birthday is mid-February) and turned it into a "not-turning-50-Mardi-Gras-party"! That was 4 years ago, in the picture above, with Nan in the foreground and Bob over her left shoulder....
Two years ago Bob was diagnosed with Chronic Obstructed Pulmonary Disease. He took two pills a day to combat it...
Three weeks ago, Bob started to not feel well. Within a week he was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. The next week his stomach was filled with fluid, then came the walker and the those amazing blue eyes (as if the sea took residence in them) became jaundiced. By the middle of last week he needed a walker. Thursday they'd decided that he'd been healthy enough prior to the diagnosis to attempt chemo treatments on Monday. Friday they treated the fluid in his stomach.
I'd been texting and talking to Nan all week. I drove to Maine Friday and stayed 'til Sunday. Saturday I met Nan face-to-face. She reported that Bob was breathing heavily and not eating....our inspiration was fighting a race he wouldn't win. Nan, Pris and Celeste (Nan's sister) courageously took up the baton and opted for hospice at home. They stayed with him and were joined by Danny, Nan's brother, over the next 48 hours. Bob died surrounded by family yesterday at 5:40PM.
Bob never spent a night of his life in the hospital. He spent his life with his family by the sea.
Yesterday was Duke's, the father of international surfing, birthday. Yesterday was Bob's death day, the father of a year-round surfer and my favorite running partner in Maine; Nanette. Mahalo, Bob for your dear daughter, my chosen sister, and your inspiration to both of us over the decades.
No comments:
Post a Comment