Tonight, the last night I'm with my kids for a long time, we watched Spirited Away. They'd both seen it before, but it's one of few Miyazaki films I hadn't seen. It all started when we were still living in SF and our neighbor, punnily enough, introduced us to My Neighbor Totoro. We must have watched that a dozen times the first year we owned to video. Then came Kiki's Delivery Service , Howl's Moving Castle, and Nausicaa (which I've recently taught in Women's Lit and may use also for Science Lit, as it applies to both). I own, but have yet to see Princess Mononoke (highly recommended by students for the "Princess" and "Woman Warrior" sections of my W's Lit course), and haven't seen (and don't own) Ponyo, but plan to remedy my deficiency on both counts this summer.
But tonight watching Spirited Away (2001 on the above graph), on the eve of my children going away from me for the longest time in their entire lives (2 weeks for Frank and a month for Lenora), it was a good reminder of how parents must let their children prove themselves by having adventures on their own to test their flight feathers.
Now this may seem odd, coming from me, who many of you consider an adventurous soul, and I am. And I've tried to exemplify and instill that in my children. However, I've mostly been the parent that has been just out of reach or sight while that was happening. Most family vacations, even before the divorce, were done by me and the kids without the wasband. The last time we all took a trip together was 6 years ago, 2 years before I asked for a divorce, but quite a few years since we'd taken family vacations or even weekends away together. It has primarily been me and the kids, since before we left San Fransisco (Frank was 18 months old and Lenora 4.5 years old when when we moved here 14 years ago).
The protagonist of this film is a young girl who is being driven by her parents from her childhood home to a new home and new school. Her parents "get lost" very near to their new home and the girl is quickly separated from them in a magical and menacing world where she has to learn who to trust (and not), how to think fast, and to work harder than she ever has before in her life in order to insure her survival and a positive fate for her parents. This isn't simple filial pity and has nothing to do with patriotic duty or her gender. It's totally about her being stronger than she thinks and smarter than she knows (much like Christopher Robin would tell Pooh Bear and he'd learn to believe it).
Much like my newly graduated girlie going abroad (which she has done numerous times without parents : Quebec, France, Spain, and China. And with me: QuebecII, Australia, New Zealand. And with her father and I as a child: NL, BEL, GER) with her Dad and his fiancee (for the first two weeks with them and her brother: Paris, Berlin, Amsterdam, Maastrich); however what is new is the 2nd two weeks staying with her Auntie Kiki - in A'dam. I know in my bones she's ready, willing and able for the second two weeks and I can't wait to hear all about them (and for the bag of licorice drops I've requested -- the varieties are simply amazing and I've placed my specific order). I've just never been away from both of them, simultaneously, for two weeks, EVER....
I doubt she'll encounter witches (the good and bad in SA), or Radish spirits or a golden object charmed with death potions, but in the current crazy climate of fractured hate around the world, there are random acts of violence and senselessness everywhere. The EUFA cup lasts only two more weeks, I know they won't be in any stadiums near the finals or any such densely populated "targets", other than two days out of 4 weeks where she/they'll be in airports. But that is the modern way of parenting now, isn't it? Don't succumb to inaction out of fear of a hateful random action! That is certainly my message to my kids (and students, for that matter). However, it does grate the nerve endings a bit when the morning news has a daily violent act that appears evermore deadly and deranged.
Click on the below URL for a pick-me-up (courtesy of Miyazaki):
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When I was growing up, my parents bought me the classic Maurice Sendak story "Where the Wild Things Are." I believe it was published a when I was 1 or 2 years old. The above illustration is a Miyazakification of Sendak's book, and when I first saw it a few years ago, the gears in my head said, "Yes". Miyazaki is the one who now gets how families and other children are experienced in children's minds, with his moving images and simple language that express complex emotions. Sendak said, when I saw him at MIT 5 April 2003 during his seminar entitled: Descent into Limbo, When developing the monsters for the book, Sendak drew on his childhood memories of his immigrant relatives. His uncles and aunts would come on Sundays and "all say the same dumb things," he recalled. "How big you are, how fat you got, and you look so good we could eat you up. So the only entertainment was watching their bloodshot eyes and how bad their teeth were. You know, children are monstrously cruel about physical defects—the hair curling out of the nose, the weird mole on the side of the head. And so, you would glue in on that and then you talk about it with your brother and sister later. And they became the Wild Things." Much like, I imagine, Miyazaki used ghosts, spirits and family members from his culture and childhood to inform the creatures and characters of each of his films. As a child, when Sendak was driving his mother nuts, she would call him "vilde chaya," or wild animal in Yiddish. In the book, the mother calls Max "Wild thing!" and he says, "I'll eat you up!" Many of Miyazaki's characters are in dangers of losing a parent's attention and often go hungry as a consequence....
The last trip the kids and I took, without their father, while we were still a "nuclear family" (how mid-last century does that sound) was to Disney in Florida during February Break of 2012. After years of saving money from selling homemade bird food and bizarre kid to kid yard sales, Frank and Lenora had saved up $500 towards the trip. We had promised to take them once they reached that goal. They'd reached nearly a year earlier, but the wasband kept saying, "not now". Well I began to realize that meant never, so I took them without him. By this point I had my teacher discount (Disney treats teachers from all over America as if you're an Orlando resident and you get their discounts through your union travel agents), so for the three of us the plane, car, motel and tickets to 3 parks (Epcot, Animal Kingdom and Legoland) was roughly 2K for a week (-$500 from the kids)- a bahgin!
After the years of saving and a year of waiting, I was shocked that they didn't pick the Magic Kingdom. But they had become too old (Frank was 11, Lenora 14) and they picked the above very deliberately. Legoland had just opened and Frank wasn't near the end of loving his favorite plastic building bricks. The gardens, exhibits and events were grand. Same for all of us with the animals and the "Safari" that transported us to Africa while staying on the continent of America. But it was Epcot that let them both be kids and young adults. They loved the varieties of foods, music, architecture and cultures all within one circular days walk. They loved walking to meet Pooh (and Tigger too - Estate of A.A. Milne has a deal with Disney - the estate was/is a client of Curtis Brown) as well as going to Japantown for supper.
Again where the two worlds collided, Miyazaki and Disney, was in the gift shop in Japan that held all the exclusive Studio Ghibli items. Lenora came away with a Giant Totoro pillow. I bought a medium plush Catbus and I can't remember what Frank bought, but there were tough choices all around! We are fans and love the messages and lessons in the art and narrative so Studio Ghibli, just as I did with Sendak and Milne. I know that wherever my kids go, they'll carry my stories and lessons with them, and when they are faced with new challenges, they may get into scrapes and need to find solutions, but that is how one becomes your own person after all.......
So I'll leave you tonight with some fan art of all the characters that most kids under the age of 23 can name for you incase you get stuck...just ask them and they'll share their favorite story and lesson with you!
Good night to all you lovers of children's books and films (and especially the ones who work just as well for grown ups, too)! xoxo
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